Friends around me are starting to get hitched. Till this day, I have got four friends getting hitched. The fifth and sixth friends are preparing to get engaged some time next year.

While I was preparing to attend my friend’s solemnisation last month, my mum said, with a hint of shock, “What! Your friend is getting married at such a young age!”

“But hey mum”, I thought to myself, “I’m not young! Come August, I will be officially recognised by the Singapore government as an adult, and I will be able to sign my Certificate of Marriage by myself (without parents’ consent etc).

“If you are going to get married in another few years time, how will I be able to get back my investment?” My mum said jokingly. “You would better get a job fast and start paying back.”

I had to admit that upon witnessing the blissful lives my friends are living with their spouses, I would start thinking of when to settle down, and how to go about doing it.

When I was younger, I used to set a certain limit for myself, like how I would like to get engaged by twenty four, get married by twenty five, start having kids at twenty seven, and stop having kids by thirty five. This thought was further strengthened each time I read articles on how age plays a factor in the rate of fertility and quality in offspring, and how late marriages has resulted in problems that came along with generation gaps.

However, as time progresses and my thoughts matured, I realised that reality doesn’t work this way. I can’t possibly just grab anybody, get hitched and have kids just because age is catching up with me. I definitely would not be happy that way. I’m pretty sure about it, especially when I’m the kind of person who will harp on the wrong decisions that I have made.

Neither am I the kind of person who plans for the future based on monetary value. I know that getting married, owning a home (note home and not house) and having kids are the most expensive (in terms of dollars and cents) price tag in life, but I will not plan to get married based on how much savings I have, and how much I can afford.

I understand the chinese saying “贫困夫妻百日哀” (loosely translated as a poor couple suffers a hundred days in agony). However, I can’t possibly just find anyone to get hitched and have kids only when my bank book reflects a grand total savings of *$500,000. Moreover, at the rate I am spending, I will never ever, in the whole of my entire life time, save enough to get married, unless the guy I’m marrying is a super duper ultra loaded guy.

I hate to admit it, but I am the kind of person who often allow my heart to rule over my head, therefore one of the most important factor that I have to consider is the feel.

To me, it’s time to get hitched

· When I feel that the moment is right

· When I feel that my spouse-to-be is someone I can rely and trust for the rest of my life

· When I feel emotionally, mentally and physically ready to settle down

I personally feel that age should not be a factor in deciding whether to get married; no one’s too young (as long as you have passed the legal age to get married) or too old to tie the nuptial knot. As for financial matters, I feel that money should be an influencing factor, but not a decisive factor.

Above all the factors I have mentioned, I guess the decisive factor should be, “Whether I want him to be my last.” If I don’t, then all else that I have mentioned previously will be nulled.

*$500,000 is derived from the following:

3 + 1 HDB with renovations $350,000
Getting engaged and married $100,000
(Inclusive of honeymoon)
Initial investment of having kids $ 50,000

Grand Total Savings of $500,000

Note: Initial investment of having kids includes the cost derived from all the necessary visits with the gynaecologist and running of the endless tests, essential supplements for mother and children, hospitalization bills, babies’ vaccinations and medications, babies’ apparels, milk powder & bottles, diapers and other necessities. Initial investment does not include cost that babies/children will incur after the age of one.