Heart or Brain

Since young, I had always wanted to study medical sciences. Not for the fame or the wealth that it brings, but to gain the ability to save.

When my lopped ear rabbit Dopey was constantly ill, she was brought to the vet frequently and hospitalised several times. When we were informed that there was literally no known cure to alleviate her sickness, and the best solution was to have her operated upon each time the same problem occur, I was heart broken.

After which, I tried searching for various alternative cures. Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), osteopathy, naturopathy – you name it, I have tried searching for it (with the exception of Reiki. Reiki back then was uncommon and almost unheard of).

I have finally managed to contact a veterinary clinic that provides TCM for animals, but I was extremely disappointed to be rejected when I told the staff that I wanted to bring a rabbit in for treatment. Apparently, the doctor has never treated on rabbits before, and is not willing to do so.

Due to various reasons, the advancement of veterinary medicine in Singapore is very much limited, and clinics that provide alternative medicine are few and almost unheard of.

I strongly believe that due to this reason, Dopey’s life span was shortened. After 5 to 6 operations and constant jabs of antibiotics and painkillers, Dopey passed away after much pain and sufferings, when she barely reached the age of 4. (Rabbits are expected to live for at least 5 years, and can live as long as 15 years.)

Since then, the urge to be a veterinary doctor was even stronger. I ever thought of studying alternative medicine for animals, however I have to have sufficient knowledge on animals (in terms of anatomy, physiology etc).

Then, came the day I graduated with a Diploma in Business Studies. I am torn between having to decide either furthering my studies in business, or to do my foundation studies in hope that I may get a place for veterinary medicine.

If I were to do my foundation studies, it will be of a slight disadvantage to me, given the fact that I hardly did any chemistry in the whole of my student life, and that the last time I did mathematics and physics was four years ago. Moreover, entering vet school is almost as difficult to enter medicine (for human). Only the top scorers can gain a space.

Sighs.

Though I have many friends who supported and encouraged me to study veterinary medicine, I still went on to register to study business last week. This was due to much dissuasion from the people around me – they just want me to take the shortest route to complete my studies, and be back in Singapore as soon as possible. This was deemed to be the most ‘logical’ thing to do.

Some even quoted that doing foundation studies is stupid, given the fact that I have already earned myself a diploma, and that I should not be studying an A level equivalent certificate when anyone with an O level certificate can easily do so. I understand what that means, and I have to once again highlight the fact that I do not like nor enjoy being back at square one once again. I am just a victim of circumstances.

However, I seriously have no idea if I had made the right decision. A part of me hopes that the school of business will accept me, while another part of me hopes that they will reject me. Will I regret my decision to study business, if any of the university accepts me? Will I have the urge to do a second degree in veterinary medicine after I complete my first? If I do so, wouldn’t my opportunity cost be much higher?

Ever since I applied to study business, I have been dreaming of animals. There was a night I dreamt that I was working at the zoo, another night I dreamt that I was diagnosing an animal. This morning, after an animal dream, (I could only vaguely remember that I dreamt of something furry), I woke up in a semi-conscious state to find myself grinding my teeth.

Oh my. I never knew I will feel so stress over such a decision. I know the Chinese saying goes “好马不吃回头草”, loosely translated as a good horse would not return to eat on grass patches that he has already passed by, however my friend once said “好草不怕回头吃”, loosely translated as one should not be afraid to return at eat on grass patches that he has already passed by, so long as the grass is of good quality and worthy to do so.

So am I to follow my heart or my brain?