Dog a Thought

Welcome to My World of Thoughts.

This blog serves as a platform for my loved ones to have a peek of my views, thoughts and feels.

If you know the existence of my blog through me, you are undeniably a loved one of mine.

Please do avoid linking me from your website or blog; I need a little privacy of my own.

Occasionally, I will update a little of myself on this blog too.

Sorry if my posts were to bore you.

However, if there is something that disagree or upsets you, we can always debate about it.

That's the purpose of the Tagboard.

Meanwhile, enjoy your stay. =)

Rane

-mYstixXylo productions-

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Ok, Bad News.

My chest pains has become more intense, my breathing wheezes even more than ever, and I have become even more breathless than before; I always feel that I am not breathing enough.

I had just seen the doctor again this week (for the umpteenth time), and was sent for another blood test. The results were out, and not only did the amount of bacteria (specifically mycoplasma) decreased, it doubled.

More antibiotics, more anti histamine, more ventolin, more drugs in short.

The doctor said I will take at least half a year to recover without relapse, if I am lucky, but most likely I will take a year or so.

Most importantly, he highlighted the need to cure me of my multiple allergies, and in order to do so, I have to avoid possible allergens, which includes avoiding consuming food which are cold and/or contain eggs, milk and nuts. On top of it, I have got to vacuum and sun my pillows, bolster, mattress and blanket on a daily basis.

He also mentioned about how lethal furry animals are to me and suggested giving them away. I just smiled when he mentioned that. It's needless to say about my decision; If I have to choose between my animals lives and mine, the decision is obvious.

So, I have to avoid them (which I will try to, even though its near impossible), and start avoiding food I should not be eating. Give me a week or two to eat all the junk food I want, do all the cooking I want, before I start the abstinence.

Sighs. There goes my greatest enjoyment in life; to eat at my pleasure.

And the day ended with a whooping $700 bill for a a blood test and a months worth of medicine.

I-dreamt-of-a-cavalier at 6:27 pm

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

I seldom post about how I feel or what I do. However, I really need to pen my feelings this time round.

I came home at 2am today to discover the death of my hamster. I can't stop feeling guilty and depressed. I have no idea what was the reason behind his premature death, and to make things worse, I do not even know when he died.

His sudden departure, is the second furmily's (fur-family) death I have to cope in less than a year. I can be strong in anything, but coping with deaths. I still cry myself to sleep at times even though Dopey passed away in May last year. Now that I have barely come to terms with Dopey's death, I have to cope with Herbie's death.

Please God, if you hear my cries, please let my animals (& loved ones) live to their maximum life span, and not take them away from me suddenly, especially when they are still young and active. They are my love, and therefore my life. Please let me spend more precious moments with them. I doubt I can survive coping with another death.

I-dreamt-of-a-cavalier at 3:30 am

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

CNY Supper

I was so hungry on the First Day of Lunar, as I had only one meal that day (which was my breakfast cum lunch cum dinner), thus I decided to use whatever leftover food I had for that day to cook supper.

Abalone Instant noodle was it!

It's not the typical Myojo Abalone Instant Noodle.
It's the genuine New Moon Abalone okay!

It's the best instant noodle I have ever had.
Nopes, it's not because it was cooked with Abalone,
but because I used the leftover soup from steamboat,
that's why it tasted heavenly! =P

However, I strongly discourage the purchase of canned abalones, because of its huge quantity of preservatives used, and not forgetting that these abalones will bring along health problems that any other canned food will bring you (despite it being one of the most expensive canned food.)

Instant food such as canned food, processed food (like pasta sauces sold in bottles and frozen pizza base) has been frowned upon by food connoisseurs and critics all over the world. In fact, eating such food is considered an insult to them. I remembered how this food critic mentioned during a television interview if they were 'caught' eating in fast food restaurants, it can be detrimental to their reputation as a food critic.

During one of the news on Channel 8 (or was it Channel U) just before last years (2007) Chinese New Year, a doctor discouraged excessive consumption of canned abalones, as the preservatives used is a common allergen which will lead to several reactions and the most often being asthma attcks.

Conclusion

Thus, if you really must eat abalones during Chinese New Year, and will still like to remain healthy, you can choose to eat fresh abalones (it's available in Singapore, but extremely rare and therefore expensive), or eat the dried ones (which is troublesome, because it's a long cooking procedure which requires not only technique, but also experience).

So, the best is not to eat abalone at all. Think of the number of meals you can buy with every purchase of abalone. Think of the number of abalones killed when you walk into supermarkets and medical halls. Think of how little nutrition your body is absorbing from this little piece of shell. Think of how detrimental canned abalones can be to your health.

Think.

P.S Look who's talking. But I really did think about, otherwise I wouldn't be blogging this post!

Note: For your information, more than 850,000 cans of abalone and 5000 suckling pigs were sold this Chinese New Year season. (Information from 新明日报）

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Healthy Diet Part 1

In a strong attempt to lead a healthier life, I have decided to change my eating habits a little.

Instead of eating polished white rice, I attempted to cook organic brown rice for dinner today.

Having cooked mostly western dishes, cooking rice sure was a challenge to me, especially when I am doing so without the aid of a rice cooker. I did it the authentic way; cooking with a claypot on a fire stove (cooking with charcoal would have made it the most authentic way).

The expensive brown rice from USA.
Healthy food are often expensive.

The final outcome.

I considered this cooking attempt failure, since I did not get the desired outcome.

Then again, I have no idea how brown rice is supposed to look, smell or taste like, as I have never eaten it before. So my desired outcome may not be achievable at all.

Whatever it is, healthy food seldom taste delicious.

Just think of eating pure natural plain yoghurt. Think of salad like asparagus and celery without dressing. Think of steamed skinless chicken breast without gravy nor marination. Think of eating guava without sour plum powder. Think of drinking coffee or tea without milk nor sugar.

Think.

P.S Look who's talking again!

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Healthy Diet Part 2

In an even stronger attempt to lead a healthier lifestyle, I ate the following for lunch today.

Organic Butterhead Lettuce

It's very expensive just for 3.

Fresh Cherry Tomatoes.

Had wanted to eat them with vinegar dressing, however I realise I had a lot of different vinegars, from apple cider vinegar to white rice vinegar to white wine vinegar to artificial vinegar, but none of them were suitable for my salad!

I needed Balsamic Vinegar.

* Faints *

In the end, I forced myself to add a little Thousand Island to my salad. So much for trying to be healthy.

Otherwise, my healthy salad would not have tasted that great!

~~Just think of eating pure natural plain yoghurt. Think of salad like asparagus and celery without dressing. Think of steamed skinless chicken breast without gravy nor marination. Think of eating guava without sour plum powder. Think of drinking coffee or tea without milk nor sugar.~~

Think.

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Healthy Diet Part 3

In an attempt to lead a healthier lifestyle without having to eat food that is too bland, I have decided to avoid processed food (with artificial preservatives, colouring and flavouring) as much as possible, and cook everything from scratch, with lesser oil, lesser salt, lesser sugar and zero monosodium glutamate (unlike takeaway food).

Therefore in Mission Cooking, the dishes to conquer are as follow.

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I never knew you could make pasta by yourself, until I surfed a website. (Fine, you can call me ignorant, but all the pasta that I have seen, regardless of shapes and sizes, are in packet form. Even those pasta displayed at Pasta Mania are in dried form.) After viewing the recipe, I was very eager to try it out myself, but I need to buy the noodle making machine/tools, otherwise I can only cook a piece of dough. Anyone has any idea where to get the necessary machine/tools?

Tomato sauces have long shelf live, so imagine the amount of preservatives they have included in the process of making. Thus, I have decided to make my own tomato sauce. Found this recipe which requires 5kg of ripen tomatoes to produce 500ml of tomato sauce. How scary can that be! However, the reviews stated that the 5kg worth of tomatoes is definately worth it.

If I am going to use organic tomatoes, its going to cost even more. How expensive can healthy food be!

<>

Usually, I cook my pasta with canned tomato puree or tomato sauce before adding the desired herbs and spices to flavour it.

This time round, I am not going to even use canned tomato puree or sauce. I am going to start from the basics by using ripen tomatoes (again. Maybe I can name this Mission Tomatoes instead.)

<> &

I happen to see these recipes when surfing for recipes for the whole of yesterday. It's ingredients are simple and easily available, and there were 384 reviews giving it a 4.5 stars out of 5.0 on average.

Thus, I have decided to try these recipes and if they really taste that fantastic, these are going to be my all time party recipes.

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I have always seen this dish as an option for dinner every time I play with The Sims and The Sims 2. I really wondered how the actually dish taste and look like, since I have never seen them on the menus at all the western restaurants and cafes visited.

I read that Mac & Cheese is actually an all-time Americans favourite.

I have long wanted to cook Mentaiko Spaghetti since I first known about it in June 2007. However, I was too busy then and did not have the time to search for the relevant ingredients and to try out the recipe.

I have read that it is extremely difficult to find this recipe on cookbooks, as Mentaiko Spaghetti is a fusion of Oriental and Western style of cooking, since this dish falls under the category of "Japanese-Western" food, so I was pretty thankful to find a recipe online which was improved by a Singaporean, so I guess it will taste pretty good.

I will have to try before finding out.

I have always loved eating potatoes, thus I enjoy eating Shepherd Pie.

However, all the Shepherd Pies that I have eaten were a great disappoint. They often taste hard on the surface, and tough on the inside, as most shepherd pies are prepared and cooked before hand, thus the Shepherd Pies are severely overcooked when served.

Therefore, I have decided to have some fresh, home-made Shepherd Pie. Hope it will be up to my expectations.

Deadline of Mission Cooking: 31st March 2008

(Just realised that the food I want to cook is so westernised. I think the next time I have another cooking mission, I should try out more chinese food and Singapore food!)

All the above stated food sound like they are high in carbohydrates, calories and fats. How to lead a healthy lifestyle with a healthy diet!?!?!

However, healthy food seldom taste good! Think!

Just think of eating pure natural plain yoghurt. Think of salad like asparagus and celery without dressing. Think of steamed skinless chicken breast without gravy nor marination. Think of eating guava without sour plum powder. Think of drinking coffee or tea without milk nor sugar.

Think!

Labels: Cooking

I-dreamt-of-a-cavalier at 2:30 am

Monday, February 11, 2008

I am so sick of staying at home. I want to go out and see the world. I want to immerse myself in the sand, beach and sun. I want to do water sports. I haven't been diving for so long, I think my license deserves to be revoked; I highly doubt I still remember how to check my diving gear before setting off, all the more I can't remember how to get my buoyancy right. Goodness Gracious.

Out of boredom, with a strong urge to do Volunteer Work, with strong emphasis on education and/or conservation, I started surfing for overseas volunteering opportunities Again. This time, I found something I am really really very interested in. I think my life will change another 180 degrees after the trip. Not only will I gain exposure and experience, I will also gain knowledge, giving the amount of training they provide. How rare can that be! It's like doing and studying what I am genuinely interested in. I have the time, I have the interest, I have the passion, I have the guts and most importantly, I am Hungry to Learn.

But you know what? I lack Companion and Money.

Yes, Money is a huge factor, because the minimum length of stay is 4 weeks and it will cost some USD 2195, excluding charges like air flight tickets, insurance and visas.

Sighs.

May God Bless Me with that $10 million Ang Bao Toto. Okay, I'm not greedy, just tomorrows $3 million Toto all to myself and I will be very contented. I promise to return some part of it to the society; Social Entrepreneur shall be it, as the saying goes "Give a man a fish; you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime".

Shares a small secret: Even if i do not win the $3 million Toto, this is something I will like to do later in life when I have the means and capabilities to do so; at a point in life when I do not have very heavy financial status, and when my opportunity costs are lower.

Sounds ambitious. I wonder how many life goals of mine will actually be fulfilled when my life ends.

Labels: Food for Thought

I-dreamt-of-a-cavalier at 2:58 am

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Think twice when before using anything from your hotel room.

A distant relative, who used to work as a chamber maid in a hotel told us never to use the towels provided, because they are often used to clean dry the toilet after washing. Even though these towels are later sent to the laundry before placing them in the guest rooms, but the thought of it is such a turn off.

I used to work in this particular inn during my polytechnic industrial attachment. Bedsheets are seldom changed if they look clean enough, and clean is usually defined as "no stains". Pillow cases, towels and floor mats are washed in the same washing machine at the same point in time. Imagine using a towel that was washed with the soil/shit stained floor mat to clean your face. Goodness Gracious.

For people who like to remove your shoes before entering the hotel room, I strongly advise you against doing so, because most (if not all) chamber maid clean the floor or vacuum the carpets with their shoes on (and who knows where or what they have been stepping on previously), so regardless of how much effort they put in while cleaning the room, there is a hygiene and cleanliness factor to consider.

Each time I tried explaining to my friends (don't worry guys, I don't specifically mean the Mixed Rice crew), they think that I was being paranoid and excessively hygenic. Some of them even felt that I was not maximising my money spent by helping the hotels to save on laundry costs etc. Even when I explained about what I have seen and done while working in the inn, they thought that such things only happened to other people, or cheaper/budget hotels or inns.

Thank goodness to those people who took managed to take such videos, more people will be convinced by what I have said.

Thus, Dear Friends if you think I was being a paranoid clean freak to wear my slippers around the hotel rooms, insist on bringing/using my own towels after bathing and wearing long pants to sleep, you may want to think twice about it, because I have got my reasons for doing so.

I-dreamt-of-a-cavalier at 5:11 am

Friday, February 08, 2008

My All Time Favourite: Midnight Shopping. Woo Hoo.

Even though it was shopping @ a Supermarket, but shopping at unearthly hours got me real excited. Koodos to Giant for opening 24 hours on the Even of Lunar New Year Eve (5th February 2008).

It's been a tradition for markets and supermarkets those days to not open for business as there are not any supplies of fresh meat, fruits and vegetables (largely from Malaysia) from Chinese New Year's eve till they are reopened for business. This usually happens after 3 days of rest, some of them even rest up till a week or more!

Thus, most Singaporeans (regardless of race) usually stock up supplies of food for the Chinese New Year celebration. That is the reason why most (if not all) markets and certain provision shops are opened for business all the way till the morning of Chinese New Year's eve.

However, people these days seldom stock up supplies of food, as businesses these days seize this money-making opportunity by running its operations as usual, even though they do not have the 'freshest' supplies of goods. These includes Giant, Cold Storage, Shop & Save and Fairprice @ Petrol Kiosks.

I have been visiting the wet market almost every year, since I was in Secondary School, and I intend to continue doing so as I believe that we will soon loose this tradition. I predict that this tradition will be around for another generation or two, at most.

Therefore, my Dearest Friends, you should seize this chance to get into the atmosphere of the "Preparation of Chinese New Year" while we still have the opportunity to do so. It's a once in a lifetime kind of experience. =)

Loves,
Rane

IMM at 1.22am on 5th February 2008

The Crowd in front of Giant.

Giant & Macdonalds were the only retail stalls
opened at that unearthly hour.

Everybody was facing in this direction
as Tiger Beer had a price cut war with Carlsberg.
On top of that, they had a lucky draw that got
everyone excited.

The Fresh Market area was one of the most
human congested section.

The Aunty in charge of the mandarin oranges was a
nice lady. Each time a customer request for a box
of mandarin oranges, she will open it and replaced
all the rotten ones with nice ripen ones.

Her act was commendable. No wonder there were
so many empty cartons left at the end of the day.

Price cut for "Kam Quats", from 23 cents to 19 cents.
I was tempted to buy them, as they are often sweet
& juicy. However, I refuse to squeeze with those
"Kiasu Aunties" & put up with their attitudes.

I even saw an old lady enjoying the "Kam Quat"
despite the "No Eating" sign. Maybe they should
implement a fine since this is a "sure work" method.
It's tested and proven in Singapore's context.

This Giant supermarket sure resembles a Fresh Market.
Just look at the mess on the floor.

I almost slipped while stepping on the
fruits/skins/juices/whatever they may be.

So much for considerate Singaporeans.

The puddles of water at the vegetable section
was not any better.

At that point in time, I really had the urge to help
them dump the whole carton of cherries in this bin.

Anyway, it was an innovative idea to get customers
to dump rotten fruits/vegetables into the bin.

However, everybody's defination of freshness is different.
How can you be sure that they will dump the
really rotten ones?

I mean some people may feel that a blemish on an
orange skin is considered rotten.

Hmms.

See how big that Silver Threadfin fish is?
It reminds me of those at Phuket's Patong Seafood.
These fishes' heads are usually used to cook Curry Fish Head.

The one above is considered a full grown one
The ones below are considered babies/toddlers/teenage.

These Silver Threadfin are also known as "Ang Zhor"

Fresh Fishes for Sale.

See that fish in the middle with an air-bag look alike
in the mouth? It's the organ that allows the fish to float.
In Chinese, it's also known as 鱼漂.

It's sticking out of the fish's mouth due to the impact of
water pressure on the fish as it was dragged out from
the deep waters to the surface of the water at
a relatively high speed.

The flesh of Song fish aka 松鱼 is often fresh and sweet,
since it is a fresh fish that is widely found in our region.

It's common cooking methods includes
清蒸松鱼头 & 港式蒸鱼头.

Are you sure that there are Tiger Prawns at all?

Where did all the fresh prawns swim to?

Fishmongers @ Work.

I had initially wanted to buy this brand of fishballs,
until I saw those that looked like the Moon.

The Cantonese Favourites.
Waxed Duck, Waxed Meat, Waxed Sausages.

Giant at 2.33 am.

Price Cut for Canned Abalones.

From $43.90 to $36.60.
16.63% Discount for the cheapest ones.

Abalone Galore.

Giant by 3.15 am.

Most of the crowds have disappeared by then.
You can see staff standing around, trying to stall for time.

I even saw a few staff at McDonalds buying some take away.
Time sure passes slowly when you are bored and unoccupied.

Lastly,
Happy Lunar New Year to All.

Labels: Festive Seasons

I-dreamt-of-a-cavalier at 5:34 pm

Monday, February 04, 2008

I saw this very interesting "Interest Group" on Facebook, it's called 'If you were born in the 80's.'

Read and you'll smile with these familiar scenes. =)

Born in the 80's

You grew up watching He-man, MASK, Transformers, Silver Hawk and Mickey Mouse, Ninja turtles, Carebears, Robocop, My Little Pony and Smurfs.

You grew up brushing your teeth with a mug in Primary school during recess time. You would squat by a drain with all your classmates beside you, and brush your teeth with a coloured mug.

You hated or loved the school nurse (she was either pretty or mean).

You know what SBC stands for.

You paid 40 cents for cartons of Chocolate or Strawberry milk every week in class.

Everyone's wallet used to be the velcro type

It was cool to have pagers in primary school

SBS buses used to be non-airconditioned. The bus seats are made of wood and the cushionwere red. The big red bell gave a loud BEEP! when pressed.

There were still bus tickets and bus conductors would come up to check them.

Envelopes were given to us to donate to Sharity Elephant every Children's Day.

You've probably read Young Generation magazine.You know who's Vinny the little vampire and Acai the constable.

You know what PETS are and the hidden animals in all the text pages. You hated penmanship.

Writing lines and caning hands were common, esp if you failed chinese spelling (caning was actually allowed. no shit).

You were there when they first introduced the MRT here. You went for the first ride with your parents and you would kneel on the seat to see the scenery.

Movie tickets used to cost only $3.50.

Gals were fascinated by Strawberry Short Cake and Barbie Dolls.

You learn to laugh like The Count in Sesame Street.

You bought tidbits called beebee (20 cents per pack, 10 cents in MGS), and mamee (30 cents), that had a different sticker in it every time.

You carried a lunch box to school but either threw away the food or brought it back home again.

You watched TV2 (also known as Channel 10) cartoons because Channel 5 never had enough cartoons for you.

Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, The Three Investigators, Famous Five and Secret Seven were probably the thickest
story books you thought you would ever read.

KFC used to be a high class restaurant that served food in plates and had metal forks and knives. (I dont remember this, anyone?)

The most vulgar thing you said was asshole and idiot and THE MOST EXTREME WAS 'chicken pie'...you just couldn't bring yourself to say the hokkien translation.

Catching and pepsi-cola was the IN thing, and twist was the
magic word.

Your English workbooks were made of some damn poor quality paper that was smooth and yellow.

You came to school 15 mins before the bell every morning just so you could copy someone's homework.

CDIS was your best friend.

The only computer lessons in school involved funny pixellized characters in 16 colours walking about trying to teach you math.

Waterbottles were slung around your neck and a must everywhere you went.

Boys loved to play soccer with small stones or tennis balls in the basketball court.

Girls played five stones and boys played with marbles.

Science was fun with the Balsam and the Angsana being the most important plants of our lives, guppies and swordtail being the most important fishes.

Who can forget Ahmad, Bala, Sumei and John, immortalized in our minds from school textbooks.

We conducted experiments of our own to get badges for being a Young Zoologist/Botanist etc.

Every Children's day and National day you either got pins or pens with 'Happy Children's Day 1993' or useless plastic files with 'Happy National Day 1994'.

You wore BM2000, BATA, or Pallas shoes.

Your form teacher taught you Maths, Science and English.

You went to school in slippers and a raincoat when it rained, and you find a dry spot in the school
to sit down, dry your feet, and wear your dry and warm socks and shoes.

There would be spelling tests and mental sums to do almost everyday (you hated them).

Your friends considered you lucky and rich if your parents gave you $2 or more for pocket mone everyday.

You saw Wee Kim Wee's face in the school hall.

Boys liked catching fighting spiders, earthworms or tadpoles.

Collecting and battling erasers was a pastime for boys.

Class monitors and prefects loved to say, "You talk somemore, I write your name ah!"

You got booked for muddy shoes in class.

There were at least 40 people in one class.

You brought every single book to school, even though there was a timetable.

There was a pro-yo/bumblebee, digimon craze at some point in time.

I-dreamt-of-a-cavalier at 12:00 am

Saturday, February 02, 2008

I read this story when I stumbled onto this person's blog, and it had got me thinking for quite some time.

Marriage

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene of ten years ago. We had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy.

Dew came into my life. My heart was immersed in her strong love. Dew said, "You are the kind of man who draws girls' attention. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, "Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls." Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.

At that moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mention it, she would be deeply hurt. She was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner while I would sit in front of the TV. But as I lounged before the TV, I would be visualizing Dew's body.

One day I said to her in a joking way, "Suppose we divorce, what will you do?" She stared at me for a few seconds speechless. Apparently she believed that 'divorce' was something too far away from her. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand and said,"I've got something to tell you." She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking.

"I want a divorce." I said calmly

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "Why?". I avoided her eyes. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "You are not a man!" and fled into the room sobbing.

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping softly. I know she wants to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

I drafted a divorce agreement which states that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger soon. But I could not take back what I had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found that she had brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible.

Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage broken.

Then asked me,"Do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?" This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, "I remember. I carried you in my arms."

She continued, "So, I have a requirement. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning."

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce," she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since almost 4 years ago. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, "Daddy is holding mummy in his arms." His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, "Let us start from today, don't tell our son." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there." On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my bride in my arms. The visualization of Dew became less distinct.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me some things such as where she put the ironed shirts & I should be careful while cooking etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, "It seems not difficult to carry you now."

She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. I smiled but I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it's time to carry mum out." He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, "Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old." I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy." I into the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision.

I arrived at Dew's apartment. Dew opened the door. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious." She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. "You have no fever." She said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew. I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. I wanted a divorce not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you."

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door. I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morning until we are old."

Labels: Food for Thought

I-dreamt-of-a-cavalier at 5:48 am

Friday, February 01, 2008

Thanks to Xia, I managed to get some 'Divine Help'.

Even though it was done in the name of fun,
I'm still curious as to the meaning behind this lot.

Can someone help me decipher the meaning,
like how the words in the different rectangles/columns/rows mean?

Oh yah, talking about it, has anyone thought of going to a fortune teller?
Though they are not always reliable, but aren't you curious?

I-dreamt-of-a-cavalier at 4:33 am

tHis ~~isn't~~ is ME

All about Me!

Rane
is her pseudo name.
is an Asian Chinese
lives on the tropical island, Singapore.
can be childish, yet mature; quiet, yet noisy
always indecisive & procrastinating

Love of her Life
Animals
Family
Food
Learning
Mother Nature
Music
Volunteer Work

Believes In
Conservation; Reuse, Reduce, Recycle
Saving the Environment
Returning to the Society

Keen In
Backpacking
Overseas Volunteer Work
Adventure Trip / Expedition Trip

Will Like to
Go-Kart
Dive
Wakeboard
Night Cycle
Cycle around the City
Catch a Beautiful Sunrise

Is Going to
Master the Art of Playing Pool
Learn the Art of Bowling

Aims for
Merit for Piano Grading Test
Distinction for Guzheng Grading Test
Fluent Conversational Skills - Japanese
Complete at least 1/2 of NYAA Gold
Obtain Powered Pleasure Craft Driving License

-------------
`aNy mAil || hEre

wishesGALORE

1) Go for Charity Dog Run
2) ~~Bring the Poochies out!~~
3) Set up an Adoption Blog
4) Donate money to Charity
5) Convince my friends to donate/volunteer at Charity as my birthday gift
6) Volunteer
7) Go Ubin
8) A Nice Over Night at Sentosa
9) Pudding to Blend in Well