Sunday, June 01, 2008
I'm Thankful to be Alive
At age twenty two, I think I'm young; very young. Straight out of the 'teenage phase' and approaching adulthood, I have my hands full of plans, goals and ambitions. While I am full of hope for the future, I have got friends who will never have the opportunities to do so.
Exactly ten years ago, I lost a pair of (twins) schoolmates to a freak accident. They were on a holiday get away to Malaysia (can't remember Genting or Cameron Highlands), when they met with a landslide. While the rest of their family managed to escaped, the two of them were trapped in the bus. I only knew of their deaths when my parents showed me the relevant newspaper article. Though the pair of twins and I were only schoolmates, we've known each other's existence for seven years, and acknowledge by a smile or a nod. When I knew they were gone, not only was I upset, I was lost for a moment.
Few months ago, I was just as shocked to receive an sms that informed me of a death of a secondary school friend (J) who was a victim of a motor accident. He was one of the first few friends I made when I entered secondary school, and I knew him way before school started.
Back then, curious about my new school and keen to make new friends before orientation, I went to our school's channel on mIRC (an online chatroom). From there, I got to know a couple of seniors and one of them was J. Cytoplasm was his online nickname. Together with a few of my classmates, we met up often for lunch after school, and played rough in empty classrooms. I'll always remember him as the boy with flexible joints; he was able to place both his legs behind his head, like an acrobat.
During my first year of study, our friendship was great as I hung around with Cyto (as we fondly addressed him) and his friends much more than peers my age. We even shared moments of sadness and anguish. However, we started to distant from each other when I enter secondary two. By the time I was in secondary three, we hardly met up for lunch and stuff. Only the occasional "Hi", "Bye" and a little small talk. By the time we've graduated out of secondary school, we've lost contact with each other.
Until one fine day, I met Cyto on bus 75 while on my way back home from school. He happily called out for me soon after I boarded the bus. I almost couldn't recognise him; he's good looking, nothing like the computer geek I used to know. From our conversations, it can be seen that he has matured over the years, but his character never changed; he's still as bubbly, active and talkative. Despite getting occasional stares from other passengers for speaking (the bus's engine was really noisy) and laughing loudly, we had a long and good chat on the bus. It really feels good to find a chat with 'long lost friends'. We even exchanged numbers and agreed to meet up for lunch or coffee one day. However, that day never came due to my procrastination and hesitance. (I really hate myself for that.) Before I knew it, I lost my chance to do so ever again.
That day was the last time I've ever seen and spoken to Cyto. I was thankful to God for letting us meet and reminisce about the past, but somewhat upset that he took such a nice person away at his prime age. Most importantly, I really regretted not cherishing this god sent opportunity to bond a better friendship with a long lost friend. I really wonder how he's doing. Will we ever meet again?
Sighs.
Just a couple of hours ago, I was told by another secondary school senior, that her ex-classmate passed away last week. My heart sank. Though I don't exactly know her well, I do have a vague impression of her, along with bits and pieces of memories; I remember her as someone nice and studious.
My senior blames herself for not watching out the tell-tale signs before her death, and not spending enough time with her. Everything came too fast, too sudden. Before she knew it, her friend was gone.
Sighs.
Personal Note
Dear Friends,
I know this is the nth time I'm telling you to cherish your loved ones. I know I'm being very naggy, but I really don't want any one of you to end up feeling like I do.
On my side, I'm trying to plan and manage my time well, so that I won't always have to procrastinate and hesitate endlessly. I don't want history to repeat itself again.
Life is really fragile. One moment you can be here, alive and kicking, the very next moment, you may be gone. I happened to chance upon this blog post which brought about a range of feelings. It has also sparked off quite a bit of thinking in me.
(Don't worry, there's nothing scary or gross about the content. )
From,
Yours TrulyLabels: After Thought
I-dreamt-of-a-cavalier at 2:57 am
wishesGALORE
1) Go for Charity Dog Run
2)
Bring the Poochies out!
3) Set up an Adoption Blog
4) Donate money to Charity
5) Convince my friends to donate/volunteer at Charity as my birthday gift
6) Volunteer
7) Go Ubin
8) A Nice Over Night at Sentosa
9) Pudding to Blend in Well
