Wednesday, July 30, 2008
I'm feeling lousy. I have always been feeling like that. I used to think that my emotional changes has largely to do with my monthly hormone changes.
It's only recently when I start to think things through, did I realise it's all in my thoughts and incidents that I've been through since I was young.
For some reasons, I always feel like I'm worthless. In terms of capability, I pale in comparison to many, simply because I am less capable. But when I'm expected to accomplish something, I'm always left to be on my own feeling helpless, because others think that I'm capable enough to stand on my own feet and they would prefer to save their time/efforts/love/concern/companion on people who 'need it more than me'.
So, where does that leave me? I'm neither on the top, nor the bottom. I'm just dangling in the middle of nowhere.
I thought that these were things of the past and it'll be over once I grow out of childhood. But, why is this still happening now? Why am I always a 'second class citizen'? Will I ever be placed in 'first position', for once?
Sometimes, I really wish I can just leave everything and everyone else behind, bring my furries to a land that can accommodate all of us, and start life afresh. Other times, I just wish that I can be with Dopey; I miss her dearly.Labels: Emotions
I-dreamt-of-a-cavalier at 1:02 am
wishesGALORE
1) Go for Charity Dog Run
2)
Bring the Poochies out!
3) Set up an Adoption Blog
4) Donate money to Charity
5) Convince my friends to donate/volunteer at Charity as my birthday gift
6) Volunteer
7) Go Ubin
8) A Nice Over Night at Sentosa
9) Pudding to Blend in Well